Blended Families

The two of you have just tied the knot. Your husband made vows not only to you but also to some of the most important people in your life – your children.  In effect, he should now provide love and support to them just the same way or at least as much as; he does you, his wife.  Your new husband, along with you, has now taken on a primary and authoritative role in the lives of your children, as he is a constant, nurturing and providing for their everyday needs, this whether the natural father is present or not.  By no means does he replace the natural father, but step-dad is now a major player in the lives of your children.  It is now also his responsibility to instruct and teach your children so that they are responsible loving adults.

Was there any discussion between the two of you regarding how stepdad is to take on this role or was the assumption that everything would sort of flow on its own?  Does your husband default all of the discipline and authority to you?  Or does he take a back seat to keep the peace with you?  Do you give him attitude when he attempts to correct your kids?  The children see this and it could create quite a challenge with respect to your expectation that they respect him as stepdad or even an authoritative adult.  The two of you need to be on the same page with respect to the children and the children need to see you supporting each other in your and your husband’s decisions regarding their rearing.  If your husband finds it necessary to discipline your child, you Mommy, have to trust him enough to know he has the best interest of the child, your child, at heart.

Ladies, we have to allow our husbands the room to take on their rightful role and be what they should be to our children.  We too, have our own role to play in not only being great mothers but great co-parents as well….You know we’ve always been the main ingredient in any Blended recipe!   

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